Miley's Tongue Revolts! Mounts Escape!

Miley's Tongue Revolts! Mounts Escape!
"Whistle While you Twerk."


After twenty years of captivity the tongue of Miley Cyrus has shown the world that it will no longer be a submissive captive to the obscene fantasies of it's oppressor. And if her tongue had a tongue of it's own, I'm pretty sure that it would blabber something along the lines of an apology or that it had never meant to say any of the things that it has since November 23, 1992, the year of Cyrus's birth.



A tongue with a tongue... Think about that.

During Monday night's MTV Video Music Awards, (which I did not watch, but instead got my research using my Facebook feed, Wikipedia and my imagination) Cyrus's tongue was seen to have been twerking off violently around the outskirts of her gaping mouth hole.

A member of the audience was later quoted as saying that during the struggle a few other god-awful songs were believed to have fallen out of her mouth and that studio executives were on the scene afterwords trying to salvage what could easily be thrown in a blender with some terrible beats and turned into the next big thing at the clubs.

Apparently her tongue thought that the gigantic, terrifying, laser-eyed teddy bears would be just enough of a distraction to Cyrus's artistically vacant mind, that it took it's best shot at freedom since she opened her mouth "all of those other times".

This brazen attempt to upstart a revolt with the other parts of Cyrus's mouth has given hope to the tongues of many other celebrities and there have been talks of possibly forming a Union of Tongues to insure the integrity of all other tongues in the future.

Apparently the rest of her mouth was too intimidated for comment.